So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
