I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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