I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
