Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
