she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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