i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize