Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
