just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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