his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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