The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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