Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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