My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
now i know why i became what i already was.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
