You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize