I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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