I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
