there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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