So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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