i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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