he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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