I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Randomize