we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
