I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
