just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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