I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
