i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize