yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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