you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
