Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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