I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
