my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
