we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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