why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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