thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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