Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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