I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
