You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
No subtext here. People are naked.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
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