OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
