Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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