No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
