i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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