we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I have aggressive nipples.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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