Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
