i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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