Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
