I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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