Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The struggles of a small town man whore
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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