Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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