it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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