Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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