Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she smelled like a LAN party
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
