he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
