he shaved USA in his pubs
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize