i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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