Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
