id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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