this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
