no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
