I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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