and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
